Are you recovering from a past relationship that no longer exists for whatever reason, including bereavement or lost friends or a past job?

Do you need to decide whether to stay or leave your current relationship?

Listen to this book and make the best decision ever so that you can move on.

This is the way to deal with an overwhelming workload.

Follow a few ground rules and you will get closer to your goal every day.

Inner trauma is reflected in your body. Get to the core with morning pages rather than depressants.

Don't wait for friends and family to appreciate you. Love yourself and others will follow.

Don't blame God for what goes wrong. Find the wisdom in the experience and move on.

Some parents struggle to let their children go. Children are entitled to leave the nest.

You can deal with wedding stress by not expecting a perfect wedding. What you experience before the wedding is a taste of married life.

There are times when a dreadful work situation is about our colleagues telling us to move on. Don't try and fight it - move on to a better opportunity.

You are ready for a relationship when you are ready to face the fantasy as well as the nightmare. Any relationship teaches us wisdom about ourselves.

Love from others start with self-love and is true when it is unconditional.

Do you simply believe what a figure of authority tells you, or do you do your own research and make up your own mind?

Sometimes it is difficult to take responsibility for your actions, but it is always the best option.Sometimes it is difficult to take responsibility for your actions, but it is always the best option.

Religious people who believe God made everything perfect are the most vicious when it comes to accepting gay people - even their own children.

If you truly believe that the devil exists, then you will find the devil around every corner. How about rather finding God in everything?

Religious people can sometimes redefine their interpretation of God's word to the extent of being absurd. Why not just be good and do good?

Rather than mock people who are different from you, find out what makes them different and why. The knowledge gives you options that you never had before.

You can apply The Secret as much as you want, but if your thoughts sabotage you, you will not get what you want.

Everything happens at the destined time. The time is determined by your soul, and not by your body or the world around you.

There is a range of emotions that we go through as part of the grieving process. We only complete the process when we understand that we have not lost anything with the death of a person or animal, or the loss of a possession.

Our thoughts are originally cosmic waves of consciousness that we first turn into thought and then into action. There are more waves than people, so nothing prevents you from achieving your goals.

The Law of Attraction focuses on your wishes without any judgment. Ensure that you focus on what you want, rather than on what you don't want.

A journey does not only take you from point A to point B. The journey also teaches you that language is emotion more than words, and gives you experiences that are irreplaceable.

Keep learning and keep asking questions. That is a powerful way of breaking down boundaries.

Don't believe everything you read in the Bible. There is much truth hidden behind prejudice and wrong translations.

If you believe in and celebrate Christmas, you may choose not to read the rest of this article, because I respect your choice and wishes and have no desire to change you or your beliefs.

If you don’t believe in Christmas or you have not made up your mind yet, read on.  I may have some interesting information for you.

I am not convinced that a person called Jesus ever lived.  I have read widely on the subject and can put forward a convincing argument that Jesus did exist, that he spent a fair number of years travelling the world (including countries as far away as India and the current United States), that he eventually was crucified and survived that experience, and then got married to Mary Magdalene.  Apparently, they had three children and then got divorced, and Jesus was last heard of when he was still alive and well into his seventies.

On the other hand, I can also put forward a convincing argument that Jesus was a resurrection of the myth of a virgin birth, where the ruling tyrant wanted the baby dead.  The baby became an adult, was worshipped as a savior and put to death on a cross between two thieves. He then rose from the dead and ascended to heaven.  Other mythical characters that had the same history include Bacchus, Narcissus, Zoroaster, Cadmus of Greece and a list that is too long to repeat here.

It also makes no sense to me that a monotheistic religion such as Christianity then breaks down their one God into three gods which includes this figure, Jesus.

I was impressed at how flexible and adaptable religion is, and how big an impact the Christian Jesus has even had on other religions, when I discovered what the Hindus did with Christmas, which is not a traditional Hindu holiday. In 1985 a five-day festival named Pancha Ganapati was created by Satguru Sivaya Subramuniyaswami along with elders of various Hindu groups.

During the festival of Pancha Ganapti Hindus create and decorate a shrine in the main living room of the home.  The focus if the shrine is a statue of Lord Ganesha.  Every day the children of the home dress the statue in a different color.  On 23rd and 24th December, the third and fourth day of this five-day festival, presents are handed out.  Now the Hindu children can also receive presents and not feel left out when the rest of the world goes mad on tinsel and sanctimonious songs.

Apparently, the tradition of having a Christmas tree is rejected as a heathen practice in Jeremiah 10:2-6: “Thus saith the Lord, learn not the way of the heathen ... For the customs of the people are vain; for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.”  I know many Christians who ignore this part of their Good Book but insist that the rest is true.

Why does Santa Claus always dress in red and white?  Because he works very hard on Christmas Eve delivering gifts to children all around the world, and when he gets thirsty, he stops and drinks Coca Cola out of a red and white can.  Yes, that company decided that Christmas was really about the spirit of Santa Claus, and they decided to dress him in company colors.

And to think all of this started with a Public Relations job that was commissioned by the Christian church 2 000 years ago! I wonder if they would be willing to take on the PR for my new book?

I love travelling.  I enjoy the butterflies and anticipation of getting on a plane.  I get excited about the idea of arriving and having to find my way, especially when I do not understand the language and where the country is different.

But I also enjoy discovering beauty and interesting history near my house.  England is one of those countries where even the mundane probably has a history of one or more centuries.  And like other European countries, they are proud of their history and happy to display their knowledge to anyone who wants to listen.

But what has all this to do with a spiritual journey, you might ask?  Everything.

A spiritual journey is much more than packing your bags to visit a holy place.  There are people who go to a graveyard regularly to talk to those that are buried.   Other people visit a spa and get pampered from head to toe.  Others simply sit in a garden and regain their balance.  Then there are people who survive trauma such as bereavement, divorce, rape, torture, redundancy, and so on, and become an inspiration to others.  And others go shopping to release their stress.

How do these journeys qualify as spiritual journeys?

The tarot major arcana describes our journey through life.  We enter life as innocent fools, and have various experiences that cover every aspect of life.  We choose to have a particular slant, such as emotions, intellect, money, or faith.  We also choose a life theme, such as Love, Justice, Judgement, Temperance or any combination of the major arcana.

People like to think of themselves as unique, because we are all unique.  Each one of us chooses a different combination of aspects that we want to explore in our lives.  Then we get born.

Our spiritual journey on earth commence when we choose to inhabit a body and those cells start to multiply and divide after conception.  From that moment, we are destined to have a spiritual journey on earth.  When we also choose the experience of a journey such as a pilgrimage or hajj or any other form, the journey is more intense during that time, because of our focus.

Does this mean a still-born or aborted baby does not have a spiritual journey?  No.  They have their own journey which coincides with the mother’s journey, and with the journeys of everyone that are affected by them.  When the medical doctor or nurse or chaplain or social worker deals with the consequences of death at any stage, they do so because they chose to explore matters such as life and death as part of their own lives.  They cannot do so unless other souls are willing to participate in these journeys.

We have conflict in our lives and it gets resolved.  We have troublesome relationships and grow from them.  We doubt ourselves and find our confidence.  We have traumatic experiences and recover from them.  We feel the intense joy of being loved and we have our senses stimulated by nature.  All of these happen for a reason.

Every single experience we have in life is planned as part of our spiritual journeys.

Do we have to be spiritually aware to gain from these experiences?  No.  Where a person claims to be an atheist, they are still able to love and be loved.  You can be very religious and still experience intense gratitude or have out-of-body experiences.

You may not want to put a label of spirituality on any experience you have, or you may shy away from describing anything in your life as spiritual, but that does not make anyone less spiritual.

On the other hand, going on a pilgrimage of any kind does not make you more spiritual either.  You may raise your awareness by doing a consciously spiritual journey, but when you started out in life you were on a spiritual journey, just like the person who chose not to do a pilgrimage.

And when we leave this world, we will continue our spiritual journey, because it is an eternal journey regardless of what you believe about any life after this.

If you have already packed for your journey, take my advice.  Leave half of your stuff behind, so that you can make space for new discoveries.  If you insist on travelling with a full suitcase, expect your body to protest.  Expect physical illness and exhaustion.  If you are afraid of your physical journey, your body will protest, but that is only the symptom of your fear of a spiritual journey.  And there is nothing you can do to avoid your spiritual journey – you cannot even die, because the journey continues after your death.

If you only pack half your stuff, expect to bring back not only gratitude and joy, but also new challenges – that is proof that you are alive and still on your journey.

I like to believe that there is good in every person, and all we need to do is keep looking and keep loving.

I am also realistic because life has taught me that this approach only works up to a point. Some people are on this earth to spread poison and malice, and with the best will in the world you cannot change them, because their mission is not to change.

There have been times in my life when I was so bombarded with negative energy that I felt I was being dragged down into the same space as the people who projected their lack of self-love on me. I have had to make some very hard decisions about people that were supposed to be close to me, but who were clearly out to destroy me. I had to distance myself from those people and it was very painful but necessary for my own survival.

The consequence was that by detaching myself from the person and the situation, I discovered what those people had to teach me. I was then able to appreciate the wisdom I gained from them and think of them with unconditional love - or so I thought. The love was there, but on condition that despite my gratitude towards them, I had to stay away from them if I wanted to be my true self.

I discovered that as people we are not capable of unconditional love, but we are capable of forgiveness - in the sense that forgiveness means understanding what those people have had to teach us, and feeling gratitude for the wisdom we gained from our experience.

Social media is no different from life - in fact, social media contacts are probably even more intense and instructive than having personal contact with people.

When we have personal contact with people, we can lie and pretend, and get away with it for a while. With social media, every word and sentence you type carries its own energy, and people pick up on that energy, even if they deny that such energy exists.

On social media I have blocked contact with a handful of people of the type of "hi mem I want to merry nice amerikin girl mem do you life alone mem".  I have blocked contact with one other person who was incredibly destructive and who on more than one occasion had a field day while intoxicated, only to brag about the situation afterwards.

I do believe in freedom of speech, and I also believe that bad energy rubs off. There are times when you must decide to either love and leave a contact, or be dragged down to the level where that contact feels comfortable. This is no different from life away from the internet, just more intense and therefore happening much faster.

If you ever decide to block a social media contact, I trust that you will do it with love and understanding rather than with anger and resentment.

Are there things in your past that you would rather forget? Do you regret things you did, or opportunities that you missed?

Do you sometimes think how different your future will be if only you could change your past? Now there is a scary thought - why would you want to change your past?

Think of your life as a series of events. Each event has a purpose, otherwise it would not happen.

Now think of all those events that you would rather forget or wipe out. What was the purpose of each one of those events? How did each one of them contribute to making you the person you are today? And what kind of person would you have been had it not been for those events?

For example, you had the opportunity to study and get a qualification. At the time, you did not want to take on the financial obligations, and you could not imagine yourself being disciplined enough to study for three years. Instead, when your parents finally kicked you out of the nest, you took the first job that came your way. You earned enough to survive and have a good time with your friends.

Then one morning you woke up and realized what you had done by turning down the opportunity to study.

What is next? Too often you get caught in a spiral of self-blame and self-pity. You focus on the missed opportunities and you tell the younger generation not to do what you have done.

Do you step back and identify and appreciate everything you have done in the meantime? Do you think of the people who look up at you as their natural leader? Do you list the skills you have gained along the way? Do you look at yourself as a unique person with character traits that are not taught as part of any formal qualification, such as empathy, using your discernment to decide who should be given a hand up and who should be left to learn from their "mistakes", how to manage your finances, and so on? The list of what you have learned because of the route you took is often far longer than the list of things you believe you have lost.

So here is the choice: remain stuck in the past and continue to regret and resent the path you have taken, or make a list of everything you have gained and learned, that made you the person you are today. Who you are right now is a result of your past, and also your foundation for the future, regardless of how you choose to deal with your past.

The foundation is there. You can use half of it and build a future full of self-blame and self-pity, or you can use the entire foundation and build a future based on appreciation and gratitude for who you have become.

You will make the choice that is right for you.

If I were to get a new pendant, which design will say most about me?

Of course, I can wear a cross, but which version?

There is the simple +, a symbol of the distant planet Nibiru, which crosses the orbits of many of the planets in our solar system as it approaches the sun every 3 600 years. The design may be significant, but a bit boring, I think.

Then there is the T or Tau, which was used as a symbol of divinity on the sculptures of Isis and Osiris.  This is also the last letter of the Hebrew alphabet, signifying the last word of God. The Tau cross is also a symbol of immortality - but do I want to be immortal and outlive my granddaughter?

I could choose the ‘Jesus cross’, ✝.  This had nothing to do with Jesus until long after Christianity came along.  This cross was a symbol of consecration of holy objects, but around 1 700 years ago, it became the symbol of the crucifixion of Jesus.    Did you know that the Mormons (a version of the Christian faith) do not even allow this type of cross in their churches?  Do I want to wear something that represents pain and suffering?  I suppose it is in the eye of the beholder.

But how about the ankh, ☥, known as the "knot of eternity", which has been used by both the ancient Egyptians and the Koi San for healing purposes?   Many of the Nguni-speaking people such as the Zulu, Xhosa and Swazi believe that the ankh represents their sun god.   I was told that the ankh also represents the Nile river with its seven deltas. Either way, it looks beautiful as a piece of jewelry.

I also like the visual image of the extra twist in the swastika, which is an ancient Hindu and Buddhist symbol of peace and completion of four principles working together.  The Chinese use the swastika as a symbol of good luck - tempting!  However, the swastika was taken over and abused by Hitler and his cronies - a real pity, because they turned a beautiful symbol of sacred fire into a symbol of evil.  I like to think that I make up my own mind about things, but would I want to be a target of other people's ignorance?  Sad.

Maybe I should consider a pentacle. . .

I have come across this illustration of the pentacle, explaining its Wiccan meaning.

 (Acknowledgement to Wiccan Parents on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=499565270130956&set=a.350988751655276.87248.350985608322257&type=1&relevant_count=1)

OK, so it is not quite a cross, but I like what it symbolizes.  Did you notice the five vowels (a, e, i, o, u)? Some Wiccans also believe that the circle around the star represents unity and wholeness, or mankind surrounded by Divinity (I like that).

 I am undecided between a pentacle and an ankh … 

These are instructions for the best journaling method I have ever encountered. If I remember correctly I first read about it in ‘The Artist's Way’, a book by Julia Cameron.  Believe me, it is potent - as long as you stick to the rules.

Get yourself an A4 exercise book. Set your alarm for about 30 minutes earlier than normal and have the book and a pen ready next to your bed. If this is impossible, leave the journal for when you are really tired and ready for bed - but early morning works best in my experience.

When you wake up, start writing immediately.

Here are the rules - and for best results, DON'T CHEAT:

Write your journal first thing in the morning, before you do anything else and before you are fully awake. This is so that you can make best use of the ‘sleep mode’ that your brain is still in. The little censor in your head who tells you what is OK to write and what is not, is still asleep and you will have free reign.

Write down anything that is in your mind, without questioning it. It may be the dream that you just left, or an issue that occupies your mind, anything. Just keep writing without thinking at all.

Write three pages and then STOP, even if it is in mid-sentence. Once you have completed three pages, you are awake and you lose the benefits of sleep mode.

Do NOT stop until you have written three pages. If you don't know what to write next, then write exactly that, until the next thought comes into your mind.

Don't tell anyone that you are keeping this journal. The moment you do so, you may be questioned about what you write down, and the censor kicks in and you may become aware of what you write. You don't need that kind of pressure from anyone.

DON'T read what you have written at any time during the first two months - not for any reason. It does not matter what you write. What matters is that you write. After two months, you can read back what you have written - or not.

What can you expect when you follow these rules? Your handwriting will fluctuate - it will be small, large, all over the place, very tidy, illegible, too much pressure on the page, whatever. It does not matter. The journal is between you and yourself, and nobody else will see it.

Expect to be quite emotional at times. Don't try to avoid the tears - keep tissues nearby. When you follow this method, you allow your demons to come out in a safe manner and this is very healing.

Expect to ask questions. You will write what is in your mind at the time, and you will get answers - trust me. You may not like some answers, you may not believe other answers, and others will be pure wisdom, but that does not matter. Just accept - this all comes from you and it is OK.

This is the cheapest and most effective therapist I have ever met.

Have you ever had one of those experiences where you ask yourself:” Why have things gone so wrong for me?  What have I done to deserve this?”

I have had many of them over the years.  When I was still a church goer, the standard sanctimonious answer was “Just suffer through it.  One day you will see the reason why God has punished you like this, and then you will understand.”

It made no sense to me whatsoever that this old man with a beard sitting up there in the clouds would ‘punish’ me with things like a broken leg, a divorce, redundancy, trusted friends who disappointed and betrayed me and so on. 

Surely, He had other, more useful things to do with His time than to think out these various ‘punishments’ for me?  And if He really was gunning for me, then he had his knife in for everyone around me as well, because they each had their own version of ‘punishment’.

The funny thing was that over the years I did discover why things had happened to me – and no, it had absolutely nothing to do with punishment for my sins.

I discovered that sin had nothing to do with my ‘evil’ nature.  For me, sin happens when I move away from my true, loving nature.  And guess what?  I am not the only person who has a loving nature.  The more I looked around, the more I discovered that the world is filled with good, kind, loving people.

All of these people experienced their own version of ‘sin’.   All of them wanted to know why unpleasant things happened to them.

The question I asked myself was:  why was it that while I had these bad experiences, I could not understand why or what was happening to me, but later, looking back, they all made complete sense to me?

This triggered my search for the meaning of human experiences.  My reasoning was that if we all must go through these experiences, surely, we could expedite them if we knew their purpose?

My quest has led me to two conclusions.   The first is that there really is a purpose behind every experience – but it has nothing to do with punishment or suffering.  Life is one massive experience, filled with a series of smaller experiences.  Every single life experience we have is part of a bigger Plan. 

For most of our lives we are not aware of this Plan.  We just get through every day, and we have no idea of what happens to us and how we learn and grow.

The second conclusion is that it is easier to find the reason for an experience once you have been through it.

For most of our conscious experiences, we have a plan and we focus on the outcome.  Once we have achieved the desired outcome, we are happy because we have achieved our objectives.  But all of these plans that we consciously achieve are one-dimensional.  Whatever we achieve is always less than we are capable of, for various reasons.

Then we have other experiences that we regard as ‘bad luck’ or co-incidence or other people’s mistakes that we must suffer for.  We often feel that these experiences are out of our control.  We like to blame other people for them. 

I have discovered that these ‘unplanned’ experiences are the really meaningful ones.  They are multi-dimensional.  They are not measured by formulas or outcomes of achieved goals.  They are the meaningful experiences which teach us far more than anything we can consciously plan.

For us to have successful lives, we must go through these more complex experiences. 

Does this mean that we must first experience everything and then only later understand the meaning?  Initially, yes.  It is only much later, when we have learned to decipher and respect the code of life, that we become aware of the meaning of an experience while we are having it.

We first must be in the picture and experience the picture.  Only once we know every corner of the picture, do we learn the skill of detachment.  Then we can still be in the picture, but a part of us can step out of the frame and look at the picture from the outside in.  You cannot see the picture when you are in the frame.

This new view helps us to learn our life lessons much quicker.

Don’t confuse detachment with denial.

Denial is a pressure cooker which can boil over at any minute.  Denial is a bomb waiting to explode.  Denial is something that you need to deal with, and the only way to deal with it is to stay in the picture until you can happily smile and enjoy being in the picture.

Detachment, on the other hand, will only occur when you have learned that being in your picture is natural and normal.  Once you take ownership of your life, you stop reacting and start responding.

That is when you can step out of the frame and see the whole picture.  That is when you understand the meaning of your experiences and understand that every single experience was a blessing.

Soldiers choose to kill from the base chakra, while entertainers provide joy based in the heart chakra.

Showing mercy is finding wisdom, not being weak.

We need to identify our own separation and division, and strive towards oneness.  

Be careful of decisions that are made by your shadow self when you are under duress.

If you preach religious tolerance, then you must practice it, even when you are challenged.

Are people allowed to pray for others without their permission?

Whose faith is the strongest?  Whose spiritual guidance is the purest?  Does it matter?